Feeling alive and being alive seem similar, but are completely and utterly different. I feel alive today. I have things going on (laundry, changing sheets on beds, trying to soothe Kellan), and in anticipation of tonight (a dinner and movie date) I feel excitement. Yes, we all are alive, but do you live each day in the moment. In the time being. I am finding it harder and harder to pass the days up at our home, meaning things to do for Kellan and myself. We try to meet up with friends once a week, go to the library each week for story time and playtime with his friends and my Mommy friends, but I am looking forward to spring time here in the Wenatchee valley. I thought we were done with snow, and then it snowed yesterday, this morning, I mean what is going on? I love winter, it is my favorite season (by far), but now that I have a wee babe, it is challenging to find fun and exciting things for us to do (or be a part of).
Kellan makes me feel alive, each and every day. Not every day has unicorns prancing around or rainbows lighting up our sky, but I am finding myself smiling every day, more and more because of my little boy. How boring it was a year ago, just slowly moving around the house, trying to find things to do. Now, I have a million projects to do and chores to do around the house, and I can never manage to find enough time to fit it all in. You physically can’t. This is why every day, I have goals set for myself, cleaning projects are now spread out through the week (instead of one-big-cleaning-day-all-day-extravaganza), I am trying to find artsy projects that I can do with Kellan (finger painting), and I am always eager to do an at home project for lil’ boy. I want to make learning tools for him, such as different colored letters on magnets and somehow building a magnetic board that he will eventually be able to spell out words, use them as a counting tool, or putting all the different colors in groups. Any ideas??
My husband offered to watch Kellan tonight so my Mom and myself can go out to dinner and go out to the movies… hello Fuji Yama & The Descendants… and I am so thankful for him. He is my other half, my rock, my best friend, I seriously don’t know what I would do without him. Dang, I sure do love that man! He is another reason that keeps me feeling alive. His kiss in the morning before he goes to work, his texts throughout the day just wondering what me and Kellan are up to, and the “look” he gives me which translates to “Babe, I love you!” gets me every time. No words are needed, just the “look” and I know everything is okay.
I feel very blessed to be where I am in my life right now. I feel alive.