I couldn’t sleep this morning and only mommy’s know why. Tomorrow is the birth day of my first born, Kman. Geez. Three whole years have past. They have gone by quickly at times and s-l-o-w during the harder terrible two’s phase that every child must go through (for some reason). I have grown as a parent, as a mommy, as a genuine person. Having children changes you. It changes everything about you. The perspective you have on life is now altered. Any love you have is expelled onto this little bundle of joy and you want to kiss them a billion times a day (which I still do), and you pray and hope that you are doing the best job. I can say now, that after raising my little baby boy these past three years I feel confident as a mommy and know that everything I have instilled in him, taught him, love on him, hug him, and guide him is showing with loud colors of blue and green. Being a stay at home Mom is no piece of cake, but with age my patience has grown and things are slowly getting easier. Juggling Noah, a 16 ½ month old babe, and Kellan a 2 years and 364 days old little dude is challenging. But like every challenge that I attack, I meet it head on and with my determination- I get the job done. My Mom tells me, “ya gotta pull up your big girl panties” and when I am having a hard day or think no other mom has done this before, how do I possibly do this, how can I go on (being all dramatic), I think of my Mom. I think of my sister. What would they do? Sometimes you just gotta suck it up, take a breath, and get movin’. These two women have shown me what it takes to be a mom. A good Mom. My Mom has raised five children and we are all loving, gentle-natured & intelligent people of society. All you can do as a mom is truly believe that you are doing the best. I believe that.
I love you my sweet Kellan Atwood, you were our surprise gender baby and I couldn’t have been more excited than when your Daddy looked at me and said, ‘We have a Kellan.’ You are my angel. You are my everything. Tomorrow is your birth day and it was one of the best days of my life.
Love you always & forever, Mommy xxoo