Every Wednesday from about 9:45am till around 3pm my Mom graciously watches Kellan. He gets excited knowing he will see his Nana, Grandpa & Uncles. They shower him with so much love and his one-on-one time alone with them makes me smile. It puts my heart at ease for those hours. I know he is well cared for, his diaper will get changed, his tummy will get plenty of snacks & lunch, and his eyes will see how much his family loves him. Because Kellan was an only child for 19 months of his life, I miss giving him that time. Luckily, my family lives in the same town as we do and he does get spoiled. Spoiled with love. That is how I was raised. It wasn’t about presents, it wasn’t about money, it wasn’t about getting a new toy every time we went to the store or even letting us kids run wild… we were kissed daily, told “I love you” constantly, and my parents helped guide and taught me lessons that I now teach my son. I feel like a wise parent. A Mom who knows what is best for my children, even if they don’t know it. A Mom who kisses my little boys from the moment they wake up in the morning until the last “I love you, have sweet dreams, we love you…” as we walk out the door when putting them down for the night. We have structure at our home. There are many rules. And yes, we have given spankings. (I am not afraid to say this. Every parent deals with discipline differently. Spankings work in this house. Time outs might work for other families.) I try to not “shelter” them in any way. I want them to learn, make mistakes, grow and understand things and obstacles just like I did growing up. But I want them to know that I will love them unconditionally. No matter what. They are my life. I give every ounce of my being to them during the day. I am a present parent. Yes I am a stay-at-home Mom, so I do “run the ship” at our home. Even Noel says, “Momma’s the boss.” Thank you hunny. Even though I might be Boss Lady, I try to weigh it out evenly with my love for all three of my boys.
Being a good parent, a good Mom is something that I wanted my entire life. I saw how my own Mother was with us, raising five children. Carly, Alex, and I all have college degrees. Lachlan is going to college, and my youngest brother Conlan will be a Junior at Wenatchee High this fall. We were taught that education is important. We were taught how to be a reliable employee. We were taught right from wrong. Although not always abiding by my parent’s rules, hey, we were all teenagers once. We learned from it. I feel like the 27 years I have been alive, I have done quite a lot. I am a recovering alcoholic, I am a wife, I am a Mother to two sweet boys, and I have enough strength in me to keep on going day after day. Some days feel like they last forever. Some days they don’t. My weeks usually even out. I might have a real struggle day, meaning patience-wise, and the next two weeks go pretty darn smooth. I know my limits, I know what my boys need 24/7, I know what their cries or whines mean, and I know what to give them at a moment’s notice. I feel a true connection to them. Every Mom might not have this with their children, but thankfully my bond with my boys just keeps on a’growin. Happiness.
Kellan Atwood is my first born. He will always be. I can’t even count how many kisses I give him every day. How many “I love you” ‘s I say throughout each day. But I can remember looking into his eyes the moment our eyes first met and realizing that yes, this is what I am. I am a Mother. I am your Mother. I will do anything and everything for you always. Noah Munro came 19 short months later. It has been extremely challenging, balancing the two of them, spreading my love to each. However now that we have hit our groove, I can say with ease this is right where I am supposed to be. Every day, at home, guiding my two little men to be the best they can possibly be. Being proud, as a parent, is the most rewarding gift I have ever received. So, I thank you Mom & Dad for teaching me everything I needed to know. As many tears, as many “we need to have a talk” conversations which usually ended up in me being grounded, as many times I had disappointed them, had them sleep with one eye open, struggled with guiding me down the right path, you both have done your job. & you have done it well. I am proud to have become a wife to an amazing man and a Mommy to my sweet angels. Parents help mold you into the person you become. My parents made me the best Katie I could ever be. Noel saved me. & my two lil’ boys keep me grounded. People ask me often, “How do you do it? What is your higher power?” …I will tell you that when I first entered treatment, I didn’t have a whole lot of faith left in me, my higher power was Noel. And still is. Only now I have two more names to add, Kellan & Noah. Every day is different, but my foundation is the same. One day at a time.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. –Serenity Prayer from Alcoholics Anonymous